so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize