so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
