im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
