That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
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