I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
