He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
she told me i tasted like america
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Randomize
