i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Randomize
