Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
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