New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
