He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
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