So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
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