how hairy? two words: wookie tits
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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