For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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