Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize