Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
The adults are the big ones right?
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
