Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
