have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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