I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize