I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
