Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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