i permit you to call me
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
