hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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