please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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