in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
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