mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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