I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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