WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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