I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
