i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
