I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
