he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Rumble strips road head = magical
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
