I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
