i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
