I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
you didnt know i had herpes?
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
