my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Randomize
