Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
