I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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