you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
