Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
you made out with another girl for some wings
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
