So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
