imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
The power of my boobs compel you
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Randomize
