Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
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Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
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Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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