I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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