on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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