My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
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