If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
