He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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