It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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