somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Randomize
