TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Randomize
