Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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