we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
