don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
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