Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
I wish I could teleport
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Randomize
