Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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