u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
