the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
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OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
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