I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
